Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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