don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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