the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize