isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
