He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
