Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Where is the hickey?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
