How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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