I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
