She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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