The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize