If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
