She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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