so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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