i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
