Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Vodka?
Forever.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize