...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
