well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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