i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize