What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
