next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
