In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
