Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
