i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize