I hate all girls vehemently.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
