I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
