my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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