she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
