whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
