The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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