did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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