Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
