every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
