I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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