i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
