Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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