you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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