somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize