my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
