Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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