I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
