I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
