Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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