They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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