I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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