can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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