mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
