I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
