Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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