My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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