Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
