have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
