is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
