If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
