I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
