I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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