Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
