i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
