apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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