When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize