Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
