"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
