What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize