im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize